top holiday gifts

With Valentine's Day approaching, it might be beneficial to ask ourselves if we are perpetuating stereotypes in the way we choose to celebrate.

The holiday appears in Western culture to be a day for men to spend money to reassure a female partner of their love with a generic expensive gift, frequently jewelry.

The media reinforces the gender typing of this holiday.

Television is currently heavy on the heart-shaped diamond jewelry commercials, with women shown giddily accepting the plunder from their princes. Though I'm sure they're out there, I haven't seen a commercial yet that advertises Valentine's Day gifts for men.

The pop culture notion is that women are insecure and need material proof of their partner's love, or that they are exploiting men for material goods.

Men are shown as not caring for "romance" but perform the rituals begrudgingly, for sex, or to keep their partners from being angry with them.

One would assume The New York Times would be beyond such stereotypes, itself reporting on recent successes regarding women's ascension into politics and the gay rights movement, both permanently changing the landscape which defines the hetero-normative view of this romantic holiday.

It could have taken this opportunity to embrace a more inclusive view. However, The New York Times' TMagazine's newest article on Valentine's Day gift ideas mostly perpetuated stereotypes. While some were more interesting, like a Swiss army knife and a pair of skis, author Alix Browne also suggested a $4,300 heart-shaped diamond necklace.

It's no wonder that men at this time of year feel pressure to dole out a few paychecks to prove their love.

With the requisite lingerie suggestion was the note, "Of course you love her for her, uh, sexy mind." And the film suggestion, a movie called "Seduced and Abandoned," was chosen, apparently, for its "adulterous affairs, staged kidnappings and murders." This movie, Browne writes, "is about as close as you're going to get him to a chick flick."

Real evolved there, Grey Lady.

Greeting card companies, despite making tons of money from Valentine's Day, do not own it, and the heterosexualist and sexist values they espouse do not have to define your experience.

Why not break out of the dominant paradigm and get flowers for your male significant other, if you're a woman? Or genuinely offer to pay for dinner, not just to be cute or novel? Or cook dinner together and not really spend any money? And if you opt to exchange gifts, why not do it with your partner in mind, and get or make them a thoughtful gift that reflects their personality or your relationship with them?

And throw gender roles and posturing in the 50s era wastebasket they belong in. Feelings don't come in pink and blue. If you're gay or don't otherwise feel like you fit the spoiled-woman, dutiful-man mold, celebrate this day however you'd like to.

Let's change this contrived ritual to something beautiful and inclusive, a meaningful observance of shared affection.

Jade Ortego is a senior journalism major from Sweeny.